While I knew better than to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street as a child, at some point in time, Freddy Krueger, did make his way into my consciousness. A terrifying film about teens, afraid to go to sleep for fear that Freddy will kill them in their dreams. Freddy has appeared in many of my dreams over the years, striped sweater and all. I always stood up to him and clearly, I made it out alive, but I haven’t always stood up for my dreams as vigilantly as I stood up to Freddy… as if my life depended on it.
How about you? Have you had THAT conversation with yourself? If you have, you know the one I’m referring to: “What am I doing with my life (doubt)? What else could I do (escapism)? I could just give this all up and move home (comfort zone). Is this ever going to happen for me (loss of faith)? Maybe I’m not as talented as I think I am (judgment). I’m not living up to my potential. I should be as successful as ___________ (comparing yourself to others).
I could go on, but it’s too painful. Listening to self-sabotage is as painful as Freddy’s knives tearing through you. Doubting yourself, judging yourself, comparing yourself to others, wanting to escape to a comfort zone, and worst of all, losing your faith. It doesn’t get more painful than that.
Your dreams are your light. They’re what give you your sparkle. Your dreams are your gift. And while it’s easy for other people to try and crush your dreams, it’s hard when you know that it’s in fact, you, who is truly sabotaging them.
So get all of the “dream crushers” out of your way. Make a list of all the people who have tried to crush your dreams by telling you you’d never make it, blackballing you, abandoning you, and anything/one you can blame for not being where you want to be.
Good. Now that they’re out of the way, what’s left? Start with the obvious ones (if there are any) like: I don’t follow up, I don’t ask for help, I don’t finish what I start.
Once you have your obvious list, you can make a commitment to fight for your dream like you’re fighting for your life. Because to sabotage your dream, is to not share your gift, and to not share your gift, isn’t really living, is it?
And Action!
1. Make a list of commitments to yourself to stop the self-sabotage.
2. If after the first exercise, you still feel like something is blocking you, look for a secondary gain (a positive function of undesirable behavior). An example of a secondary gain is to sabotage your success because you fear that those close to you, will react negatively. Or a fear that making more money or having more fame than your spouse, will end your marriage.